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Thread: Idle Silliness

  1. #1
    Senior Member
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    853

    Smile Idle Silliness

    New measurements -

    1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
    2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
    3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
    4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement= 1 bananosecond
    5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
    6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile perhour = Knotfurlong
    7. 365.25 days of drinking low calorie beer = 1 Lite year
    8. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
    9. Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon
    10. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
    11. Basic unit of laryngitis - 1 hoarsepower
    12. Shortest distance between two jokes - a straight line
    13. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
    14. 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
    15. 1 million bicycles = 1 megacycles
    16. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
    17. 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
    18. 10 cards = 1 decacard
    19. 52 cards = 1 deckacard
    20. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 fig Newton
    21. 1000 grams of wet socks = 1 literhosen
    22. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
    23. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
    24. 10 rations = 1 decaration
    25. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
    26. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
    27. 8 nickels = 2 paradigms
    28. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League
    "The founding fathers, in their wisdom, devised a method by which our republic can take one hundred of its most prominent numbskulls and keep them out of the private sector where they might do actual harm." -- P.J. O'Rourke

  2. #2
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    Default

    Well, I've had enough pun for one day.

  3. #3
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    Default

    And to think . . "I read the whole thing!" . . . . .
    "A man with a firearm is a citizen... a man without one is a subject"

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    Default Bad Metaphors

    At least the spelling is OK.

    http://paul.merton.ox.ac.uk/language/analogies.html

    Worst analogies ever written in a high school essay

    He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
    Joseph Romm, Washington

    He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
    Jack Bross, Chevy Chase

    His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free
    Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

    And my favorite...

    Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
    Unknown

    Take Care -

    ZC
    "The founding fathers, in their wisdom, devised a method by which our republic can take one hundred of its most prominent numbskulls and keep them out of the private sector where they might do actual harm." -- P.J. O'Rourke

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